It's no surprise that bad movies get made; crappy ideas are a dime a dozen, and it's only once you've added cast, crew and catering that they become $50-million each. What's weird is a movie that looks bad, smells bad and feels bad but actually turns out to be pretty good. What Happens in Vegas is that, the Hollywood version of a smelly French cheese.
The premise - total opposites Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz accidentally get married - is so old it's been found on cave walls. The last people to attempt it were Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore in Laws of Attraction, one of the worst movies of 2004. (I say "one of" out of deference to Catwoman.) The writer is Dana Fox, whose only other credit, The Wedding Date, was possibly the worst movie of 2005. (I say "possibly" on account of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.)
But this one works, in part because of speed. Director Tom Vaughn (Starter for 10) brings to the movie a kind of manic energy that keeps the laughs fast and the lulls even faster. Many directors come to Hollywood after working on three-minute music videos or 30-second TV spots; I'd bet Vaughn got his start editing ringtones.
Faster than a sidewalk artist can draw you on a skateboard, Diaz's character is sketched as a stockbroker on the make and of the marrying kind; Kutcher's character is a warehouse slacker and serial break-up-amist. They meet in Vegas, date on a dare, drink, do the deed and decide to wed. In the morning, dehydrated and contrite, they decide on a quick divorce (hey, it worked for Britney - sort of) but three million and one reasons intervene. One is Judge Whopper (Dennis Miller), who decides they should make a go of it and sentences them to six months' hard marriage. The rest comprises the money they won while wed, to which each feels entitled.
The supporting players help move things along nicely. Miller is crustier than day-old rye. Rob Corddry (Harold & Kumar, Semi-Pro) as Kutcher's pal and Lake Bell (Over Her Dead Body) as Diaz's are perfect sounding boards and just crazy enough to make the lead characters and even the plot seem sane in comparison. (Sample out-of-nowhere zinger, from Bell to Corddry: "If I could make someone dead with my mind it'd be you.")
The screenplay is a masterpiece of multitasking. Why give Kutcher a lawyer and a best friend when Corddry can reliably play both? And why write page after page of clever dialogue when crafty editing can let all the characters bat one good line back and forth as though playing mixed doubles? Splitting a joke is like splitting a cheque - more funny for less money.
Finally, Kutcher and Diaz take the screwball premise and run with it. Each has proven comic timing, and together they produce a believable romantic chemistry (the fact that Diaz is older than Kutcher probably didn't hurt). Granted, the film can't rise above its dated premise, but takes it to its frothy limit. And yes, we can pretty much see the end coming from the moment the opening credits roll, but the title I Think I Love My Wife was already taken.
